The Man of Sorrows

“He was despised and rejected, a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief.” –Isaiah 53:3

About a year ago I started seeing a counselor. He is helping me find some emotional health in my crazy life. In my last visit, I described some frustrating circumstances and he asked what I do with it. I said, “It makes me angry. I get frustrated. I complain a lot.”

“You look sad. Are you sad?” He cut right to the heart of it, seeing what I apparently couldn’t.

“Yes,” I responded almost without thinking. “I am.”

“When do you feel sad? When do you feel it?”

“When I slow down. When I am not distracted.”

He left me in that statement. We sat in silence.

“I am always sad. It’s always there.”

“Are you saying sadness is your baseline?”

“Yes. I feel like it’s always there, constantly threatening to consume me.”

I am wounded. Sometimes my life feels like a breadcrumb trail of brokenness. There is hardly a season of my life not marked by loss or pain. I hope it’s okay for me to share this. To be honest, I am a little nervous about posting it. I don’t want to bleed on you, the reader, but I share my memory of this conversation because I assume there are folks who can relate.

There is a song that is God’s voice to me when I find myself stuck in the mire of sadness and self-pity. It is the final verse of Andrew Peterson’s Silence of God.

There’s a statue of Jesus on a monastery knoll
In the hills of Kentucky, all quiet and cold
And he’s kneeling in the garden, as silent as a stone
All his friends are sleeping and he’s weeping all alone
And the man of all sorrows, he never forgot
What sorrow is carried by the hearts that he bought

So when the questions dissolve into the silence of God
The aching may remain, but the breaking does not
The aching may remain, but the breaking does not
In the holy, lonesome echo of the silence of God

indexIt brings me comfort to realize Jesus is familiar with sadness. Isaiah calls him the Man of Sorrows. He knows what it is like to be betrayed, abandoned and wounded. He was slandered and treated unfairly. He felt the pain of injustice. He knows. He knows what it is to be filled with sorrow to the point of breaking. He knows. He is the one I follow. He is the one I love. He is the one who loves me.

One Response to “The Man of Sorrows”

  1. Andrew McCauley April 16, 2014 at 11:15 am #

    Thanks for having the courage to publish this post, Jason. I’m also in a time of coming to terms with what my brokenness and pain and trying to find where I can rest in God.

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